no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm sobbing to NWA
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
