Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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