She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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