She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
