I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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