The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
