I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
