Your tits are I can't wait for
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
