her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
