things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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