I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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