no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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