I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
