I am spending my child support on dildos
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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