Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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