Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
