Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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