I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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