I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
