I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
