I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
