ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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