I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
a search helicopter?!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
