so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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