Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
