i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize