Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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