I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
