Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize