do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize