New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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