Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
