I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
