Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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