Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize