You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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