There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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