Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
