Your tits are I can't wait for
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
