if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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