You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
