hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We were destined to go to rehab together
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
