actually, I'm a sock model
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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