Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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