Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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