nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
