I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
