and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
