well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
