she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
