Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
