How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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