Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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