shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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