my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
