would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
