all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
