If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
