No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
