All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
