i jhust puked up my retainher.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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