so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
